earlysparker

 
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MY THOUGHTS


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NmugSMBh_iI



About two months (September 2014) ago the sweetest most kindest man came into my life.  He treated me with compassion and understanding.  He is the type of man that any woman could easily be attracted to but, this man is differant.  He is a doctor and not just any kind of doctor, he is a OB/GYN doctor. The way I met him is I had to have an operation and he agreed to do it for me.  I was scared at first but, he convinced me that everything would be fine and I would recover quickly.  I was told that the surgery would take about 2 hours.  When it was over and I was taken to a room, my family told me that it took a total of 5 hours and they were getting worried..  I don't remember having any pain after the surgery except for the first couple days.  He came to my bedside after the surgery and was just as sweet and kind as he was before the surgery.  He visited me again a couple days later and when I seen him walk through the door my eyes lit up and I got a big smile on my face which instantly put a smile on his face.  I was so happy to see him, I hope he saw that in my smile.  Two days later, I was released from the hospital and I was a little sad.  I was happy to go home but, I knew it would be a little while before I would see him again.  The day after I was home I called the office to make my follow up appointment and the secretary said he wanted to see me in a month and I said "Wow! a month, not until then?"  She immediatley said "Hold the line and I will ask the doctor"  She came back on the line after a few minutes and told me that he would see me at the end of the week.  I was thrilled.  i am still not sure why it went from a month to one week so quickly.  I can guess it was because of how frightened I was before the surgery.  For the next four weeks, I had an appointment a week to see this wonderful man who took away my pain through his intelligence and surgery.  He still spoke to me with compasion and professional caring.  I don't want anything more from him than what his job requires him to do and to just let me look at him and stare into his eyes when he is explaining things to me.  I just want him near me all the time.

It is now a month since I last seen him.  I almost can't remember what his face looks like.  I remember he wears glasses, prescription glasses sometimes but most of the time he just wears reading glasses..  He has a smile that lights up the room and his salt and pepper colored hair.  I need to see him again, soon.  In this month I have found out a lot about him.  I found out that his parents were Ukrainian.  I think he was born in the United States.  

He married a Ukrainian woman,

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who died a few years ago.  He says he has a fiance' who lives about 3 hours from here.  I have his office hours mememorized so I know when he is in his office.  I would love to scream his name to the heavens but it could cause problems.  I can at least say that his name is very hard to pronounce.  I wish I could just be his friend instead of his patient.  We might possibly be able to develop a nice friendly relationship.

It is now December 19th, seven days before Christmas and one month and seven days since I last seen him.  Today was the day that I was glad I was in the right place at the right time.  This is what happened:  I was taking a friend of mine to the Good Will store in the town I live in.  I parked the car and she got out, I told her I would wait in the car.  As she walked toward the door I seen a man coming out and can you guess who it was!?  That's right, my wonderful gorgeous doctor who I haven't seen for what seems to be a lifetime.  The bad thing is he didn't see me and I was to scared to go running after him to say Hello.  I watched him as he got in his car and pulled away and out of the parking lot.  How could I have just sat there in my car and not got out when I seen him and said Hello to him.  All I can say is it must have been the feeling that I was doing something wrong by being there.  That is the only way good things happen to me. The only thing I can say now is I know what his car looks like now and I only have a  little over a month until my next appointment with him.

I have been thinking today that I am going to start going to the meetings on friday nights and if I see him there three or four times I am going to ask him a question.  I want to see what he says if I ask him, If I wasn't your patient could we be friends.  I think he will say we can be both.  If he says that then my response will be "How would friends spend time together without it looking too much like a date?"

Today (December 28 2014) I found a very recent picture of him.  

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Now I don't have to try to remember what he looks like.  I am so happy.  I have it saved on my desktop.  I also made a video today with pictures of him I found on the internet and some pictures of Ukrainian flags, set to music.

The date today is January 12 and I have one more month until the day I have waited 3 months for.  What am I going to say to him and what is he gonna say to me?  I think it will go like this:  I will sit there waiting patiently and he will open the door and walk in which will instantly put a smile on my face and he will smile back at me.  Then he will ask me how I am doing and I will say fine.

Well, February 5th now and it is one week before my scheduled appointment.  I went to his office to see if he could write a prescription for the pain pills that I was about out of because the last few days I have been having some pain.  He said he would see me and fit me in between other patients.  I am going to leave out the details here because I didn't leave his office happy.  I was still in pain and no prescription for pain pills, just a prescription for some cream.  I will see him again next week.

I guess this is my last time writing here because it is now March 27th and I haven't seen him since February 5th.  The appointment I set for the week after, I cancelled it.  I began to think that I need to end this.  It will never play out the way I want it to and it is just hurting to much so I am cutting my losses and calling it the end.  I am going to add one more thing to this blog before I stop writing here. Today, April 12th 2015  I visited his son's facebook page and found a picture of him and a woman.  It was a wedding invitation.  Yep he is getting married soon to a woman with the same first name as mine.  Now ain't that a kick!  THE END

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JLvFbBR4XOg