https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rI6Di0WZZRY
Dan + Shay - From The Ground Up (Official Music Video)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ODRWKGIxB4M
earlysparker
Maumee
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I LOVE YOU LIKE A SISTER
I LOVE WHEN YOU COME TO MY HOME TO TAKE CARE OF ME. YOU HAVE SUCH A GENTLE TOUCH AND A LOVING PERSONALITY. I SEE YOU TWICE A WEEK FOR 30-45 MINUTES. THE 2-3 DAYS BETWEEN THOSE VISITS ARE VERY DIFFICULT FOR ME. I THINK ABOUT YOU EVERY DAY AND EVERY NIGHT. I REALLY WANT TO SPEND MORE TIME WITH YOU TO GET TO KNOW YOU. TO LEARN THE THINGS YOU LIKE AND DON'T LIKE. THAT WAY WE COULD ENJOY THE TIME TOGETHER AND HOPEFULLY BECOME GOOD FRIENDS. GROWING UP WITHOUT A SISTER, I DON'T KNOW WHAT SISTERLY LOVE IS SUPPOSE TO FEEL LIKE.I CAN ONLY GUESS THAT IT MUST LIKE I FEEL FOR YOU. SLEEPING IN THE SAME BED AND KEEPING EACH OTHER WARM, TELLING EACH OTHER SECRETS, TALKING ABOUT BOYS AND CRYING TOGETHER. I HAVE BEEN TOLD IS WHAT SISTERS DO,
In my opinion i feel like i have been assigned the BEST nurse. i look forward to the 2 days a week that she comes to my home to aid me with my wound dressings. She shows me the best care and understanding possible.She makes my whole day brighter. Her knowledge in her job is very clear. She always calls ahead and lets me know when she will arrive and she always checks to see if the time is good for me.She always arrives right on time.
I just want to tell you that I cried like a baby for awhile friday until I realized why. For 4 months I never thought of you as a nurse.
I saw you as a sweet, kind understanding person who was coming to help me get better and do things that I couldn't do for myself. I became
obsessed with with the idea of us being friends.
And now 2 years later I am still not over her AND it has happened again! With a differant nurse. Why does this keep happening to me? I really don't want to say her name here or even mention how old she is because she doesn't know or even suspect how I feel.
Is it actually possible to suffer from withdrawal symptoms from not seeing someone?
It is possible and indeed common for people, especially young people in love, to suffer from withdrawal symptoms. These often remind us of our fears of separation anxiety from parents or loved ones in childhood. When we bond with someone we develop a high level of oxytocin in our brains and the high that oxytocin gives us, the memories it triggers. The same is true of dopamine. Over time we can develop a ‘love addiction’ to that person based off these tw chemicals. When one has heartache due to being unable to satisfy that need for oxytocin/dopamine, it’s common to become emotionally distressed, have stress levels (cortisol) rise and perhaps be a little sleepless.
New Thoughts
Might be time for a change.......Feelings are such a funny thing. You don't know if you should act on how you feel or use your head and realize that it might cause problems if you do anything. I think the reason I feel this certain way is because I was raised without a sister and never had more than one or two friends all through school. The first time I remember is with this woman at church. First she was my sunday school teacher and a very kind and caring woman. She always made learning fun and I could see that in the way she treated me. She was so caring that she became my seond mother. In this I mean when it was time for the mother.daughter banquet and my mom had to bowl that night and she only had a son, we were paired together very nicely and everyone accepted it. I even started sitting beside her during church. She had a beautiful voice, I loved to listen to her sing the hymns. There was one day that things at home got heated and I planned to run away from home and her house, 5 miles out in the country is where I was headed. It has been a long time since I have seen her. I did look her up when my mom passed away and found she lives about an hour from me. She is much older now and her son and husband are deceased. After all those years I still get those chills and warm feeling when I hug her.
Next was my friend, Robin, I don't remember how old I was. I am thinking maybe 15 or 16. She was such a good friend, I liked being around her, she made me laugh and we had fun.
The next one was very brief, she was a teacher in High School that was very friendly and kind. Only thing I can remember is she allowed me to visit her at her home. I dont remember now if she invited me or I just made a surprise visit,
Oh boy, this next one seems right now like it was the closest I got to bringing on the wrong idea. I tried to explain how I was feeling and this kind of thing can be easily misunderstood if you dont use the right words. I really don't know if we were ever friends. She was my manager selling Tupperware. I wanted to be her friend. I wanted to go places with her and do fun things because she talked to me in a friendly and understanding way.I think where I messed up here is I tried to tell her how I felt in a letter. I don't even know if she understood or not. I never seen her again. I liked her so much that I gave my second child her first name.
The next one that came into my life was someone I met at the college I was taking classes at. It started as just sitting in the atrium and talking, skipping classes and checking out guys. I only lived about 3 miles from the school, so we would go to my house and hang out. It wasn't too long before I was done attending classes but remained friends. She didnt really like it at her house because her brothers would always bother her. So I told her to pack a weekend bag and come stay with me. It was great we drank beer and watched movies and she cooked tamales and mole' I opened up to her one day because I was tired of holding in how much I liked her. I tried to explain it wasnt sexual. I just needed ___ see, I still am not sure what to call it. It is not sex that I am talking about. Maybe affection is the word. Anyhow, I think she understood. Maybe it was because she had sisters growing up. Even after the talk, I guess maybe she didnt understand completly except when we we sitting on the couch eating or watching tv she didnt mind if I would brush against her arm or leg. Maybe she didnt even realize I was filling my need just by that little bit of contact.
About Me
Places Traveled
Funny Story
Funny Joke
I have been in many places, but I've never been in Cahoots. Apparently, you can't go alone. You have to be in Cahoots with someone. I've also never been in Cognito. I hear no one recognizes you there. I have, however, been in Sane. They don't have an airport; you have to be driven there. I have made several trips there, thanks to my friends, family and work.
Funny Story
This is a little story about four people named Everybody, Somebody, Anybody, and Nobody. There was an important job to be done and Everybody was sure that Somebody would do it. Anybody could have done it, but Nobody did it. Somebody got angry about that because it was Everybody's job. Everybody thought that Anybody could do it, but Nobody realized that Everybody wouldn't do it. It ended up that Everybody blamed Somebody when Nobody did what Anybody could have done....
Funny Joke
A lady went into the pharmacy, walked up to the pharmacist, looked straight into his eyes, and said, "I would like to buy some cyanide. The pharmacist asked, "Why?" The lady replied, "I need it to poison my husband." The pharmacist said 'Lord have mercy! that's against the law! Absolutely not!" The lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband in bed with the pharmacist's wife.The pharmacist looked at the picture and replied, "You didn't tell me you had a prescription."
MY THOUGHTS
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NmugSMBh_iI
It is now a month since I last seen him. I almost can't remember what his face looks like. I remember he wears glasses, prescription glasses sometimes but most of the time he just wears reading glasses.. He has a smile that lights up the room and his salt and pepper colored hair. I need to see him again, soon. In this month I have found out a lot about him. I found out that his parents were Ukrainian. I think he was born in the United States.
He married a Ukrainian woman,
who died a few years ago. He says he has a fiance' who lives about 3 hours from here. I have his office hours mememorized so I know when he is in his office. I would love to scream his name to the heavens but it could cause problems. I can at least say that his name is very hard to pronounce. I wish I could just be his friend instead of his patient. We might possibly be able to develop a nice friendly relationship.
It is now December 19th, seven days before Christmas and one month and seven days since I last seen him. Today was the day that I was glad I was in the right place at the right time. This is what happened: I was taking a friend of mine to the Good Will store in the town I live in. I parked the car and she got out, I told her I would wait in the car. As she walked toward the door I seen a man coming out and can you guess who it was!? That's right, my wonderful gorgeous doctor who I haven't seen for what seems to be a lifetime. The bad thing is he didn't see me and I was to scared to go running after him to say Hello. I watched him as he got in his car and pulled away and out of the parking lot. How could I have just sat there in my car and not got out when I seen him and said Hello to him. All I can say is it must have been the feeling that I was doing something wrong by being there. That is the only way good things happen to me. The only thing I can say now is I know what his car looks like now and I only have a little over a month until my next appointment with him.
I have been thinking today that I am going to start going to the meetings on friday nights and if I see him there three or four times I am going to ask him a question. I want to see what he says if I ask him, If I wasn't your patient could we be friends. I think he will say we can be both. If he says that then my response will be "How would friends spend time together without it looking too much like a date?"
Today (December 28 2014) I found a very recent picture of him.
Now I don't have to try to remember what he looks like. I am so happy. I have it saved on my desktop. I also made a video today with pictures of him I found on the internet and some pictures of Ukrainian flags, set to music.
The date today is January 12 and I have one more month until the day I have waited 3 months for. What am I going to say to him and what is he gonna say to me? I think it will go like this: I will sit there waiting patiently and he will open the door and walk in which will instantly put a smile on my face and he will smile back at me. Then he will ask me how I am doing and I will say fine.
Well, February 5th now and it is one week before my scheduled appointment. I went to his office to see if he could write a prescription for the pain pills that I was about out of because the last few days I have been having some pain. He said he would see me and fit me in between other patients. I am going to leave out the details here because I didn't leave his office happy. I was still in pain and no prescription for pain pills, just a prescription for some cream. I will see him again next week.
I guess this is my last time writing here because it is now March 27th and I haven't seen him since February 5th. The appointment I set for the week after, I cancelled it. I began to think that I need to end this. It will never play out the way I want it to and it is just hurting to much so I am cutting my losses and calling it the end. I am going to add one more thing to this blog before I stop writing here. Today, April 12th 2015 I visited his son's facebook page and found a picture of him and a woman. It was a wedding invitation. Yep he is getting married soon to a woman with the same first name as mine. Now ain't that a kick! THE END
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JLvFbBR4XOg
